Leadership Series: Seek First to understand , then to be understood- Part 2

As we saw in the prev post, how by empathically listening and reflecting Priya's feelings so that she knows you are genuinely trying to understand her- Priya felt understood, she felt that you valued her feelings and understood them. That helped her calm down. The friendship remained intact and both friends were able to understand each other.

For us to understand the other person's feelings truly and develop compassion for them- even when they are attacking us, we need the following:

1. Value the relationship over your own ego: 
1. Everyone is a part and parcel of Krishna, just like us. We want to connect with people at that level.
2. "ACT out of values not out of weak emotional feelings" 

1. Acknowledge to ourselves about how we are feeling when we are being attacked as we saw in this example.Maintain your calm - its natural to feel how you are feeling but you do not act on your feelings. You act on the value that you first want to understand.
2. God has "Given us two ears and one mouth for a reason" - "Listen Twice as much as you talk"
3. Put yourself in the other persons shoes and mirror how they are feeling- 

1. Examples- seems like you are feeling very betrayed after hearing this, seems like you feel sad for your friend, seems like you feel bad that your friend is doing this to you,etc. 
2. Focus on "FEELING" words.

When we try to understand the other person- we make them feel loved and valued. This makes them want to understand, love and value us in turn.